You cannot heal what you cannot feel

When my clients claim “I cannot feel anything” I often use the line above. So often we numb ourselves from the feelings that might take us back into the past. We don’t want to re-live events that caused us pain, suffering or shame. We blame ourselves for what happened and/or blame others and the situation for it.

Have you experienced this numbness before? When something scary happens and we don’t get scared. When someone gets unfair with us and we don’t to anything about it. When someone betrays our trust and we act like nothing has happened.

After a deep and powerful conversation the new answer always emerges “It’s not that I cannot. The truth is I don’t want to feel [that]. I shut those feelings out for so long I am afraid of them.”

Being a prisoner of others robs us from living freely. Being a prisoner of our own selves robs us from experiencing emotional freedom. Without emotional freedom we will always depend on others for validation, recognition, trust, safety, and love. Everything will be conditioned by others, everything will come with a price.

Choose to live life differently. Choose your feelings. Choose unconditional self-love and acceptance first.