My Mom, My Letter And Us

My best day was when I wrote a letter to my mom and took the courage to tell her that I forgave her for everything she has done or not done during my childhood, that I understood her life from her perspective, and that I was so proud of her for raising me and my brother the way she did.

I gave her the letter as she was leaving to go back home after visiting me here in Seattle for the summer. I knew that was her last time visiting me.

That summer I took the time off to be with her. I was very intentional about spending time with her and being, listening, seeing her as a beautiful human being — not just my mother. I found out her biggest fear: will my baby girl be OK in the US?

I told her several times “Mom I am OK, and I got this (living away from her)”. But she couldn’t hear me and wouldn’t believe I was telling my truth.

So I wrote the letter to really tell her I believed in her. I believed she’d be OK without me being there because I am already with her every day and every moment. And I have been since I left home at age 19.

I told her I believed in HER.

Because this is what my work is about with engineers. I believe in them first before they can believe in themselves and start being OK showing up fully as human beings not just engineers in the world.

A week later my mom Skyped that she wanted to speak with me. I thought something happened at home or with my brother, or my dad.

She got on the line and I noticed her voice was different. After all I am a coach, can’t help using my skills.

She talked about how grateful she was for her visit, this and that. I was listening and I remember waiting to hear what the need for this call for her was.

Then calmly she said “Andrea I believe you will be OK and you will do great at whatever you are doing. I believe in you.”

That was the first time she said those words to me.

I decided to keep her words forever in my heart, like the memory of a first kiss. Precious and worth more for me than gold.

Our conversations are beautiful since.